I often consult women at the age of
22 – 50, who want to find their pair and enjoy lovely relationships. Practically
all of them ask for my advice “How to behave
at first date?” Psychologists, as you know, are not to give any advice. All we
can do is to discuss with clients the best ways of behaviour, based on
scientific research and positive experience of other lucky people.
So, what is ‘the first date’? It is
a rendezvous, appointment, where two people present themselves to advantage.
They do not know the outcome of this
meeting, as they have different hopes and intentions.
There are usually two types of dates:
with lovely feelings and without these feelings. On first date people usually
evaluate each other and chances for further relationships. Here are some tips
to take into consideration.
Personality
is essential!
Both for long-term and short-term
relationships, discovering each other’s personality is important.
Short-term relationships (usually
from men) include the hidden intention of sex. Even in this case your
personality is significant.
A survey by StasticBrain confirmed
that 30% of both men and women said personality is the most important
quality on a first date.
Successful first date, i.e.the one with desired outcomes, requires to
maintain a delicate balance of confidence coupled with a flashy personality
(without being over the top for women, of course).
Let the other
person know you have:
·
Interests
·
Hobbies
·
Opinions
·
Views
·
Values
Simply
stated, “I have a life. How can you complement it?”
Self-Confidence
Studies surprisingly show that over
40% of men are not confident meeting a woman for the first time.
Men desire to be comfortable around
a woman rather than spend all their time trying to figure her out or impress
her.
Although many women love to play the
“I’m a Shy Little Sally” card, it has the potential of taking a tragic turn for
the worst with many men.
While shyness can be cute at first,
most men really want to connect with
A “Confident
Cat” that intrigues them (rather than bores them).
Making a man fall in love with you
begins with a confident smile and captivating personality. It is a small aspect
that makes a world of difference in relationships.
Confidence is knowing what you like, what you want, and how you want to get there,
and you should never hesitate or apologize for these qualities.
Sexuality
Biologically
sexy people, i.e. expiring physical sexuality, charisma and attraction do not
play social games in ‘confidence’ or ‘look how good I am!’
However,
when they experience lovely feelings to their partner, timidity and confusion
may stop them from active flirting. It is the first sign of real love emerging
between the two…
People
with rather low level of natural sexuality have to compensate it by ‘self-confidence’,
professional/ financial self-importance and their ‘personality’ exaggeration.
Active flirting during first date
In the absence
of deep feelings, people flirt actively.
Men just simply cannot resist being
wanted and desired. So, flirting plays
a huge part in creating these feelings for men.
A smart woman knows that flirting is
an art well worth mastering. It’s essential for women to use their attributes
to the advantage.
Men desire to be desired.
Additionally, if you have any
interest in a partner, flirting should prove to be somewhat easy, casual, and
effortless. The conversation should flow, presenting many opportunities for
jokes, teasing, physical contact, and laughter.
Men are SOOOOO
similar to cats. They are biologically programmed to want to chase
women, and in particular to enjoy being with women who are a little bit
of a challenge, but not too much of a challenge that they don't feel
like they have won you over.
So you see, that there no rules for the first date.
Anyway, there are two things that might show you the real attitude from
another person during your first date:
1. If your partner listens to you attentively without interruption, they
like you!
2. They enjoy your company. Indicators: they smile with pleasure, their
body is relaxed, and they feel at ease.
Natalia Levis-Fox
