Why do some men have trouble accepting compliments?
The real issue here is wrapped up in low self-esteem, which we do not
often associate with men. But they have to deal with that just like women do,
even though it plays out in their lives is slightly different ways.
Low self-esteem is a learned behavior.
There are almost always particular experiences that play into a man's shyness
or embarrassment around taking a compliment.
The thing is that this type of men lived all their lives in rather poor
or limited social (women’s) environments. In this atmosphere, compliments are
not considered as a normal thing.
When you have something going wrong for a long period of time (not the
way you prefer), you tend to try and grow yourself a Teflon coating to protect
your heart and soul. Instead of being a contented love sponge, you're more of a
non-stick surface that nothing can penetrate... Not even a sincere, loving
compliment.
It feels deeply pleasurable to give
a sincere compliment, but receiving one takes more work. In order to
successfully receive a compliment, you have
to be confident in yourself and in the sincerity of the person who's saying the
nice thing about you. If you are feeling at all vulnerable or insecure, it
can be nearly impossible to gracefully receive a compliment.
So, if you are sort of ‘shy’ in receiving compliments from women,
belonging to different social groups (from yours) and you are not sure about
the sincerity of received compliments, you may do the following things:
1. Take as a fact the notion of “compliment” as some wonderful input
into your personality. The notion comes from Italian word
complimento – “expression of respect and
civility”.
2. Take a sheet a paper and write all compliments you received from
different women in different periods of life.
Make a table: ‘compliment’ → ‘woman’ → ‘her social group/status’
3. When the list is ready. Check out, which of the received compliments
correspond to your own understanding of you and resonate with your skills and
personal qualities, etc.
The points of mutual coincidence bear witness that this woman or women
understand and value you the way you are! Their compliments are always sincere.
You trigger
"high value" circuits
in their mental ‘model of great men’.
This "high value" model of you can be easily
created within minutes! With these circuits and model, you will be treated like
a King in every social group.
This professional secret will be yours during our one-hour on-line
consultation.
Book your time
Natalia Levis-Fox
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