Enjoy communication with people you both
…like and…
…dislike!
11 secrets below will make you the Master of Social
Situations
Secret 1: The Non-Analytical
Look
When about to be introduced to
anyone, show no shyness or unwillingness. Show respect and admiration for the person, instead, by
envisioning him nobly and respectfully. Overlook everything detracting about
him.
Completely ignore Bob's lesser height, irregular features, unsymmetrical figure, poor clothes, uneven teeth, poor dental work, missing limb, prominent mole, ugly scar – in fact, anything and everything about him which does not add to his appearance. Stay neutral and establish instant rapport with him.
If he believes you are not aware of his imperfections, he might conclude that you are not observant. But he will relax with you, and you need that for mental domination.
Nobody enjoys the psychoanalytical look when it is directed at him. It is an antisocial look and arouses resentment. It may be pardonable in a doctor because he has to diagnose, but in everyday life people prefer to hide their deficiencies.
Stare only at Bob's eyes to suggest to him that he has captured your full attention. That banishes the rest of him from view and stops you from studying him.
Completely ignore Bob's lesser height, irregular features, unsymmetrical figure, poor clothes, uneven teeth, poor dental work, missing limb, prominent mole, ugly scar – in fact, anything and everything about him which does not add to his appearance. Stay neutral and establish instant rapport with him.
If he believes you are not aware of his imperfections, he might conclude that you are not observant. But he will relax with you, and you need that for mental domination.
Nobody enjoys the psychoanalytical look when it is directed at him. It is an antisocial look and arouses resentment. It may be pardonable in a doctor because he has to diagnose, but in everyday life people prefer to hide their deficiencies.
Stare only at Bob's eyes to suggest to him that he has captured your full attention. That banishes the rest of him from view and stops you from studying him.
Secret 2: Drawing the Other Person Out of His Shell
After expressing your pleasure
in meeting Bob, flatter him with a Magnetic Statement. But don't usurp the conversation
after that, unless he is tongue-tied or the silent type. Induce him to do most
of the talking, particularly about himself, and give him your undivided
attention.
You can't do this for long because it grows boring. But do it long enough to establish complete rapport between you and him.
You can't do this for long because it grows boring. But do it long enough to establish complete rapport between you and him.
Secret 3: Subtle Probing
Don't embarrass the other
person with intimate questions. Praise something about him and let him elaborate on it if he
is so inclined.
If you praise him for possessing broad shoulders, he might scoff and "admit" that he acquired them from playing sports in college. At once, exhibit interest in his education and ask him what college he attended. You would soon discover what he studied. From that you can guess his occupation – even his probable income.
If you praise him for possessing broad shoulders, he might scoff and "admit" that he acquired them from playing sports in college. At once, exhibit interest in his education and ask him what college he attended. You would soon discover what he studied. From that you can guess his occupation – even his probable income.
Secret 4: How to Take Graceful
Departures From People
Don't abruptly march off from
a person you are conversing with. Say to Bob, first, "Will you excuse me? I'm late
already. Good meeting you. See you again." If another group has already
gathered around him and has eclipsed you, withdraw inconspicuously.
Secret 5: Retain Your Equanimity
Never give vent to rage or
anger in social company. Slight
or humiliate no one, even if he is unpleasant. Don't be a social sadist.
Don't wound people's feelings.
Don't hit back by embarrassing others for slights, either actual or imagined, which you suffered at their hands. Revenge thinking, besides, changes your general demeanor to the unfriendly.
Don't hit back by embarrassing others for slights, either actual or imagined, which you suffered at their hands. Revenge thinking, besides, changes your general demeanor to the unfriendly.
Secret 6: Show a Democratic
Attitude Towards Others
At work especially, look down
on no one in a subordinate position, even if he belongs to another department. Some day, he might be able to do you
a big favor and save you a lot of hassle. An antisocial attitude, besides, gets
talked about; and, once you are known for bad manners, people expect the worst
of you and act aloof towards you.
Secret 7: Don't Brag
Don't brag about your income,
as if your co-workers were paupers. If you are a woman, don't brag about your beauty. If others
don't notice how attractive you are, forget it – there are others who will.
Secret 8: Be – Or Pretend to
Be – a Good Listener
Don't adopt a know-it-all
attitude. Appear always
ready to listen. Don't pass for a simple-minded idiot who believes anything he
is told; but don't act stubborn, nor as if impossible to influence either. People
want you to listen to what they have to say. Don't turn your head when the
other person presents his side of the question.
Even if he is misinformed,
don't insult him by being rude. If he is long-winded, interrupt him with something he likes
to hear about and then abruptly change the subject. If that is not easy to do
at the time, turn pleasantly to someone else and ask for his or her opinion
of the matter. Never start a quarrel with a person who is monopolizing the
conversation.
Secret 9: Retain an Impartial
Attitude
Don't turn, tongue in your
cheek, to someone beside you and mutter sarcastically about the person who is
monopolizing the conversation. It puts your listener in an embarrassing position. You compel him to take
sides, and that is not sociable, even if he secretly agrees with you.
Refrain from all personal discussion. Mention nothing to your companion about his own private life, character, or ability to reason. Confine yourself to the subject being discussed and raise no controversial issue that could lead to a heated argument. Arguments incite people and curtail your power to influence them.
Refrain from all personal discussion. Mention nothing to your companion about his own private life, character, or ability to reason. Confine yourself to the subject being discussed and raise no controversial issue that could lead to a heated argument. Arguments incite people and curtail your power to influence them.
Secret 10: Reply to People
with Words, Not Gestures
No mannerism antagonizes
people more, nor labels you with a supercilious attitude sooner, than to reply
to their statements with nods or shakes of the head.
They wonder if you view them
as animals or slaves. No
slave would answer his master with nods or shakes of the head, but many a
master might reply to his slave like that. So, don't insult others by
replying to them with gestures instead of words, unless they are insufferable,
and you wish to drive them away from you.
Reply in words, even with
“yes” or “no”, or you will lose your mental domination over others fast.
Secret 11: Don't Push Your Way
In and Take Over the Stage
Don't swagger up to people who
are conversing and, with a booming voice, take over the stage. To those of
sensitivity and refinement, such behavior is enraging.
After Hamilton Mille, the Author of Elite Social Control
Follow, practice and have fun in social situations!
Natalia Levis-Fox
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