Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Secret of Negative & Commanding Self-Talk

As people, we need to live in very friendly and loving environments. 

It is incredibly natural when people, family members, relatives, our partners, lovers, spouses and colleagues value us, our best human qualities and tell us good words, compliments.

Do you often hear these nice, encouraging and warm human words about you?

If the answer is “Yes!” -  Then you would never read this article.

We seek, enjoy and stick to the company of those people, who approve, admire and consider us as winners and successful people.  

Social games “who is the best here” type are good. What happens when we come home  with nobody sincerely loving and believing in us without games?


Home, without absolutely friendly, open and pleasant atmosphere? 

Home, where you do not have to play a cute hero or winner, or demonstrate high spirits?

You want to relax and enjoy your rest.

And, here it comes! Instead of peaceful relaxing and pleasant mood, there appears the familiar negative stream of information…

You feel irritated, angry and annoyed. You start fighting it furiously. But the situation is getting even worse.

Some people call it ‘voice’ in the head. Psychology names it ‘negative self-talk’.

In reality, there are no voices in our heads. It is impossible! Brain scans show only language areas activity during that distasteful information stream in cortex. And nothing more.

Left hemisphere of human brain with language centers
—Brocas's area and Wernicke's area— highlighted

Obviously, you wondered about the origin of that stream of useless, old-times, irritating you information. Right?

And found no answer…

The answer to this question might take you to your childhood. Apparently, you grew up in the unfavorable social environments. It is not the money or poverty. It is lack of love, respect, approval and admiration you experienced at that time. Your family, caregivers or teachers did not value or bother to understand you. They had their own vision about you: your future, preferable or decent behavior, etc.

Their demands to you were highly moral, backed up by family, religious and social traditions. You were mistrusted, accused of all sins. (For instance, my well-to-do parents predicted me to finish my life in jail).  To feel good you learned to fight them silently. So, you developed the sort of secret inner talk to stay undamaged.

This childish skill still protects you from being ‘heard’ in your thoughts, sexual dreams and crazed mind shows including! Were you told that you would be punished by God for that?

Read the full text

Natalia Levis-Fox

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