Continued from “Jealousy in Brain”
Can jealousy be healed? YES! When I got stuck in jealousy myself, I made an extensive scientific research and wrote the book.
Natalia Levis-Fox. “Secret of Healing Jealousy”. 2010. Smashwords Inc.
The secret of healing jealousy consists of 3 stages:
1. You form the intelligence of a attractive personality
2. You master the art of creating love-making imagination, the way it suits you
3. You apply the ‘Love Formula’ to feel loved, sexy and desired.
I Step: Knowledge
Nothing cures better than knowledge. When you know the evil, you stop doing things unconsciously. Jealousy is nothing but a habit!
Scientific research discovered that jealousy-related behaviors such as intimate partner violence and morbid jealousy are more common in males. Studies suggest that men and women have different modules to process cues of sexual and emotional infidelity.
Jealousy typically involves three people and occurs when one fears losing someone to another person. Envy typically involves two people and occurs when one lacks something enjoyed by another. We often evaluate self and others from social comparisons. We feel envy when the target person has superior and self-relevant characteristics.
Japanese researchers (Takahashi et al., 2009) identified the “Evil spot” in brain, which controls both jealousy and envy.
It is the same part which detects real physical pain and is also associated with mental pain – perhaps explaining why feeling envious of your lover's philandering ways hurts so much.
Try to imagine that your loved one has become romantically interested in someone else.
And then try to envision which scenario would bother you more: (a) learning that your partner has fallen in love with that person or (b) discovering that your partner has had meaningless sex with that person.
Obviously, both situations are painful to think about, but chances are one of these bothers you more than the other. And just as likely, your gender has a lot to do with which one causes you the most anguish.
Both men and women experience jealousy and according to David Buss, Ph.D., professor of evolutionary psychology at the University of Texas, this is both healthy and necessary to the fitness of a faithful relationship.
In “The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy Is As Necessary As Love and Sex," Buss describes his survey of women and men in the United States, the Netherlands, Germany, Japan, Korea and Zimbabwe.
The majority of women interviewed were troubled more about a partner's emotional infidelity (Does he love her?), while the men were most upset about sexual transgressions (Did she have sex with him?).
Can jealousy be used positively? Yes!
Since you know its origin – social comparison in favor of another person and fear to lose your beloved one – you have an excellent chance to become a better person and learn to dream about fantastic relationships.
Jealous people are known to create big & detailed mental pictures of their partners’ infidelity. As the result, they suffer intensively. It was discovered that brain as does not distinguish between imagery and real objects (Pearson et al., 2008).
Structure of Jealousy
Like any other unpleasant emotional state, jealousy is nothing but a well-formed skill. It functions in the automatic regime, and is characterized by the absence of flexibility. This is how it works.
1. People create images of infidelity in details
2. These magnified in size images or even imagined films trigger an acute and long lasting emotion - SUFFERING
3. Between these skills there’s a regular process which repeats many times.
In other words: you imagine the act of infidelity and suffer. It’s clear, is it not?
Jealousy is a self-imposed black magic which controls our life against our will.
II Step: Love-Making Imagination
The process of healing jealousy continues with learning to create wonderful images and ‘dream films’ about the desirable scenes of love-making.
Research from UC San Diego explains us the reason for such a advantageous outcome. “Keeping your eye on the right prize” i.e. your dream of ideal relations, activates regions of the brain implicated in anticipating and tracking rewards (Serences et al., 2006; 2007; 2008). Rewarding images alter neural activation in many areas of the human visual system, which responds more strongly to objects of value (i.e. what is more important to you).
Analysis revealed that rewards altered neural activation in many areas of the human visual system, including the very first visually responsive region of the brain, the area of the cortex known as "V1," which is associated with representing basic features such as edge orientations and color.
The study also found activation in the frontal and parietal regions of the brain previously implicated in anticipating and tracking rewards.
These areas were very active when one choice was much more valuable than the other, suggesting, that these regions may provide signals to bias visual processing and so have a greater impact on decision-making and behavior.
Yellow circles are the visual areas that respond strongly to valuable objects.
Not everybody can see or create bright images.
(a) Instead, you may dream kinesthetically, i.e. experience by body, feeling touchings and caressings through skin and genitals.
(b) Or, you can tell stories about desired love-making experience.
(c) Practice the combination of all modalities, just the way you like.
The more often you dream, the better your relationships become, as you attract the novel and fresh energy for erotic love and satisfying sex. Without these, relationships are empty!
III. Love Formula
I developed the ‘Love Formula’ – a simple and elegant solution to your problem of jealousy. You feel good, nice and healthy. When you decide to create any quality and make your life a fantastic adventure, apply the Love Formula. Fill its components with desired features, sing the formula for several days and you get what you want!
It took me only 3 days to get rid of jealousy with the Love Formula. Currently, I am in love, months and months of wonderful feeling. This is what love makes with you. You become a better personality, you feel happy, inspired. No jealousy can approach you!
You can use this formula from another book, published by Smashwords Inc.
Natalia Levis-Fox. “The Love Formula”.
Or you may call me Tel.: +7 928 266 93 13 and we shall easily heal you…
Private practice, on-line consultations
License No 314265119000560
References and links
- Takahashi, H., Masato Matsuura, Michihiko Koeda, Noriaki Yahata, Tetsuya Suhara, Motoichiro Kato and Yoshiro Okubo. Brain Activations during Judgments of Positive Self-conscious Emotion and Positive Basic Emotion: Pride and Joy. Cerebral Cortex April 2008;18:898--903doi:10.1093/cercor/bhm120 Advance Access publication July 17, 2007.
- Buss, D. The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy Is As Necessary As Love and Sex, The Free Press, N.Y., 2000.
- Salk Institute. Brains response to visual stimuli helps us to focus on what we should see, rather than all there is to see
- Pearson et al. The Functional Impact of Mental Imagery on Conscious Perception. Current Biology, 2008; DOI: 10.1016/j.cub.2008.05.048
- Serences, J. T. Value-Based Modulations in Human Visual Cortex. DOI 10.1016/j.neuron.2008.10.051.
- Serences, J.T., Yantis, S. (2006) Selective visual attention and perceptual coherence. Trends in Cognitive Science. 10(1):38-45.
- Serences, J.T., Yantis, S. (2007) Spatially-selective representations of voluntary and stimulus-driven attentional priority in human occipital, parietal, and frontal cortex. Cerebral Cortex, Feb;17(2):284-93.
- Serences, J.T., Boynton, G.M. Feature-based attentional modulations in the absence of direct visual stimulation. Neuron 2007 Jul 19;55(2):301-12.