Friday, August 15, 2014

Men: Ego, Self Love, Appreciation… What Else?

I have 3 unfinished books:
1. “Pain? Gone!”
2. “Your Amazing Future”
3. “Out of alcohol!”

Natalia Levis-Fox.  “Out of alcohol!” 2014. Smashwords Inc.

First 2 chapters are free either from my Publisher at

Or from my website in PDF format at

I postponed their completion as I did not know the answer to the simple question: “Is it good to love yourself?”

The notions “Yourself”and “Myself” are often used in everyday life. Usually people mean them(selves) as personality, the way they are.

Western Psychotherapy and Psychology insist on ‘loving yourself’ and consider it healthy. Right?

Then comes another question: “What is My Self?”

As usual, if I do not understand something, I make an extensive research, both scientific and conceptual, until the answer satisfies me. Apparently, you may do such things as well.

In broader meaning “Myself / Yourself” means the outer world as you understand it. In personal meaning, it is your personality and knowledge.

There is one more meaning as applied to “Myself/Yourself”. It may describe the potential each of us has at the disposal. This potential is in the air, right in front of us, so we can inhale it.

When I got rid of alcohol 13 years ago, I got rid of the Ego, supporting it. Ego is the idea, concept about each of us in its individuality. In most cases this Ego, or Self, was formed under unfavorable conditions, in childhood or in our teens. It was at that time, as some of us were told: “Look at yourself!”, meaning to get out of your body and watch your own behavior, as if you are an observer to criticize yourself. This is how the separation in consciousness occurs.

Mother angry with her son

In Psychology we say that there appears a ‘criticizing part’, which interferes into your wellness with the manners, intonation and speech patterns of your parents or caregivers or educators. This  part ruins your moods. To get rid of its imposing mode, people do crazy things or silence it with alcohol.

This  ‘criticizing part’ acts as your body-guard against pleasure, joy and relaxed happiness. It makes you  suspicious and doubtful either about your human qualities & appearance, or sincere words, compliments and good feelings from other people for you.

Most often this part – a foreign installation – does both: it creates doubts and mistrust against your own will of a grown-up person, who had gained considerable success in many life areas.

This part acts  against you, by itself.

You fight it, as if there are two of you: good and bad

It makes you either love yourself or fight against you!

In both cases you prefer to close yourself (as a personality) from other people with your own real opinions about them and yourself. 

So you live ‘with a lock’ and this part eats your potential…

It makes you respect and appreciate yourself…

Value, admire and be proud of yourself,
as others do not bother with your success and are busy with themselves…

Since this part eats up your potential with its childish stupidity, rigidity and lack of intelligence, it demands “What do you think of me?”, appreciation and respect from others.

It makes you be showy 

and it requires admiration…

This is how people learn to love, appreciate and value themselves. There is nothing wrong with it, right?

Let us consider this process of ‘self love’ from another angle. For instance, you as a man, love yourself with your own male’s love. What energy do you have in your body…

…when two men love each other?..

When you look for a female 

and find her,

…your loving self will be standing between you and her…
…demanding respect and appreciation from her…

You also compare yourself with other men
and feel envy or jealousy, thanks to this part

If this female is intoxicated with her own self love like you…

…you will never understand and listen to each other…
Your locks-parts will be fighting and quarrelling

And the very last thing.

Do you understand what  ‘to be yourself’  means? It means to be rigid with repeated thoughts and  same models of behavior as it was all previous years!

Since you read this article up to the end, you recognized something familiar.

Knowledge is healing…

…it is the key…

…which opens  old padlocks of stagnation and origin of pain…
if you choose, of course…

...or live with this stupid part all your life...

Your teaser,
Natalia Levis-Fox,
Private practice, on-line consultations
License No 314265119000560

No comments:

Post a Comment